Writing your wedding vows can be a truly exciting and rewarding experience. While it takes some effort to come up with words that describe your love, desires and promises to your partner, it should not be an overwhelming task. If you are about to get married, take a few moments to read through these valuable tips for writing vows.
- Discuss the tone and format with your partner
Take some time out with your partner and decide how you want your vows to sound. This is the time to choose whether you want them to be romantic, poetic or humorous. Do you want your vows to be distinctly different from each other or will you want to repeat similar promises to one another? You should also agree to share them before the D-day or keep them a secret.
- Read some examples of wedding vows to get inspired
Read as many wedding vows as you can particularly from your own faith. Take note of those that resonate with you. You can use them as a start off point for your vows or just be careful not to lift too many words out verbatim. After you have seen a few vows that you love, spend a little time to reflect on their style, choice of words and any other thing you like about them.
- Reflect on why you love your partner
Avoid writing romantic vows at a time when your stress level is high or when you have an important deadline to meet at work. Instead, you need to find a time when you are truly relaxed and you can reflect quietly on your relationship. To improve your creativity, you can arrange some photos, of you and your partner, from when you first met till now.
- Create an outline from your thoughts
Writing is a creative process and you can be as flexible as you want while putting down your vows. There’s no need to write long sentences from the onset. You can start with a list. Just write down everything you admire about your fiancé. List out the great things you are expecting in your marriage and the promises you intend to make to your partner. It’s a good idea to put your list aside and wait for 24 to 48 hours. Then review it and put an asterisk beside each item you really like on the list. These will serve as a good starting point for the first few drafts of your marriage vows.
- Add a few genuine promises
You may discover that many vows are mere love letters because they focus mainly on telling love stories. But bear in mind that your vow is a promise and commitment. You are telling your partner that you will be there forever to offer love, care, support and protection, no matter what the situation may be. So add some promises that are committed to keeping for the rest of your life.
- Avoid clichés
While writing your initial drafts, you can borrow words from some of the samples you read. But keep this to the barest minimum. Make sure your the vows sound like you are talking and relating with your lover. You also have to avoid using clichés like “love is blind”. Create your own sentence to express the fact that you love your partner regardless of whether they are well dressed with makeup or they are coming out in sweatpants.
- Try to reduce your vows to a minute or two
Be as concise as you can so your vows don’t drag on and get boring. Just stick to the most important points you want to make and avoid needless repetitions. A good rule of thumb is to write your vows and be able to read them within two minutes. If you notice that you can’t finish within that time, you need to do some editing. If you choose to keep some of the outstanding words you’ve created, that’s great. Extract them from your vows, put them in a letter and send them to your partner, first thing in the morning, on your wedding day.
Now you have some ideas on how to pin down your wedding vows. Don’t hesitate and allow writer’s block to hinder you from creating your vows. Call your spouse for a time of reflection, read some examples and get started.